“Birth is Mental” – Training your mind but not with willpower
I was cycling through Amsterdam on my way home from a prenatal appointment with one of my doula clients. She was already 34 weeks and we had just completed the Spinning Babies® Birth Preparation Class. Her body was quite tense and I could tell that her fascia and ligaments were really enjoying the stretches and techniques to release the tension. It was almost as if her body was letting out a long sigh “ahhhh… this feels so goooooooood”.
She was very fit, athletic and healthy. Not long before she got pregnant, she even finished the Amsterdam Marathon. As a beginning runner myself, I admired her endurance, power and strength. While I am super proud (and totally exhausted) after 7k, she managed to run 42k. What an achievement!
So naturally during our prenatal appointments, we often compared giving birth with running a marathon. Both require preparation for body and mind. Before I started running I had never thought about the mental aspect of physical exercise. I just thought you’d have to be really strong and really determined. However, I totally underestimated the importance of mindset. If you’re too focused on your performance and running only on willpower, you will exhaust yourself pretty quickly. The same is true for birth.
During the conversation with my client, I wanted to elaborate on the importance of mindset during birth and I said “Birth is also very mental” to which she replied “Oh yeah, it’s totally mental, I am sure”. Then we both started laughing because I realized this is not what I meant.
The Mind-Body Connection in Birth
What I really wanted to say is that birth is profoundly shaped by your mindset. Just as an athlete trains not only their body but also their mental resilience, pregnant women can benefit from preparing their minds. A positive and flexible (!) mindset can make a huge difference in how labor unfolds.
Research shows that fear and stress can activate the sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight mode), which may slow labor and make contractions feel more intense. On the other hand, when you feel safe, supported, and confident, your body releases oxytocin, your birth hormone. (Read more about The Biology of Stress)
Mental Strategies for Birth
So how do you cultivate the right mindset for birth? Here are a few key approaches:
Reframing Pain as Power
Just like in endurance sports, the sensations of birth can be intense, but they don’t have to be framed as suffering. Instead of viewing contractions as something to fight against, you can practice welcoming them as powerful waves bringing your baby closer.
Visualization and Affirmations
Many athletes use visualization to prepare for competition, and the same technique can be incredibly useful for birth. Picture yourself opening, softening, and surrendering to the process. Use affirmations like "I trust my body," "Each wave brings me closer to my baby," or "I am strong and capable."
The Power of Support
Just as marathon runners rely on coaches, pacers, and cheering crowds, having a strong birth team can make all the difference. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, whether that’s a doula, a supportive partner, or a trusted care provider.
Train Your Mind Before Birth
Mindset isn’t something you flip on like a switch during labor; it’s something you cultivate beforehand. Get to know your nervous system, identify your triggers and glimmers and start writing your own positive affirmations. This can help you towards a more empowered birth experience.
Prepare for Birth with Kindness and Trust
Training for birth, like marathon training, is like a discovery, an opportunity to get to know yourself on a different level. You don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to have all the answers right now. What matters is that you show up for yourself with curiosity and compassion.
The small steps you take now—learning about your nervous system, building trust in your body, and surrounding yourself with the right support—will help you when the time comes. No matter how your birth unfolds, you are capable, and you are not alone!
A short and insightful quiz to help you feel more confident and prepared.
Empowering Mothers, Not Just Births
Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers – strong, competent, capable
mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.
-Barbara Katz Rothman-